Thank goodness I don’t write with my mouth! I’m worse with the spoken word, it must be said. I’ve been known to lose a perfectly simple word from my mental dictionary and grope around in my mental thesaurus to convey the meaning. Oven. That was one word I lost once. It turned into “you know, big square white thing you cook in”. My verbals unleashed include lots of “wotsits” and “thingies”. I’ve been known to swear (honest!). It’s a worry. I’m a writer. Writers are supposed to wax lyrical. Writers are supposed to be elegant with language and brim over with witticisms and (possibly) intelligence.
On paper I can do that. Inside some character’s head, I can and do weave a magical tale – often with swearing in it (people swear, folks, they just do. I remember a discussion with my mother once and trying to explain to her that if you’re writing about, say, a motorcycle gang, they are not likely to express themselves with “Oh darn”, “Golly”, and “Poot!”. Realism is generally rough). Inside the story, my words flow. Sometimes I have to hammer them in place, it’s true, but with a bit of polish one can hardly see the dents.
ANYHOW, out in the real world, I’m as tongue-tied as the next person. It’s a different mental process going on. Clearly my mouth is wired differently into my brain than my hands are. I think better with my hands. Seriously. Before computers came along, I noticed that simply holding a pen clarified my thoughts. I communicate better while holding a pen. Now, sitting in front of a keyboard does the same thing. I slip into that creative alpha state kind of place and I’m away.
Maybe that’s the difference. In the real world, face to face with real people, I’m paying attention (almost) to what’s going on. I can’t make the world flow gently around me, nor lose myself in a story, or be in any manner “far away”.
Writing works for me… except for the splelling mistakes. Ah, fudge it.
NOTE: Don’t let this nonsense put you off. I have two very healthy and well-rounded science fiction novels in print. Not sure if there’s a “darn” in there, but I can guarantee there’s not a single “Golly” or “Poot!” There is also sex, swearing and occult themes (no worse than Mr Spock’s mind-meld or the Force in Star Wars – it’s still sci-fi).